The Adventures of Mikaela and Wheelie
by The Jaxter
Summary: Oh yes, it was only the beginning of a beautiful friendship...or not.
1. Unofficial Guardian

AN: Oh my gosh…thanks to everyone who reviewed and favorited "I'm Keeping Him" and "I'm Staying With Her" I really didn't expect so much feed back. So Autobot cookies for you!!! If you guys want to bring suggestions or comments feel free to PM me. So get ready guys because this one's for you!!

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters…if I did, the third movie would have been out already :)

**The Adventures of Mikaela and Wheelie**

**A Mikaela/Wheelie Series**

Chapter One: Unofficial Guardian

He didn't know _how_ exactly he had grown attached to the human, but he did and it felt kinda weird. For so long, he was told that all humans were inferior (still are in his personal opinion) but this particular human—Wheelie shook his head—she was something else. The little ex 'Con now understood as to why some Autobots grow attached to one human and become some sort of a "guardian" towards them.

Wheelie would be the first to admit it.

Okay, so half the reason why he got so "attached" in the first place was because he had a daily _access_ to that glorious leg of hers. He just couldn't help himself, organic or not, his _Warrior Goddess_ was just oozing with appeal.

From his perch on the wooden rafters of the garage, Wheelie watched in fascination the way Mikaela fixed one of the many bikes. Okay so maybe he was just watching Mikaela's legs, he had little bit of a leg fetish. Who could blame him?

His optics zoomed in on her right leg, as she wiped oil on her mechanics uniform.

Wheelie grinned he was a perverted bastard, and was slagging proud of it.

"Hey Mikaela, have you fixed my bike yet?"

The new voice broke him out of his little fantasy, as he immediately entered a new mode at the sight of the new male: protector mode. He didn't particularly know why he was so protective of her, when her dad was Ironhide's human incarnate (also very overprotective) and she had a boyfriend (whom he doesn't like to mention at all) _Puny little wimp._ With that said why was he so protective?

It came down to six simple words: Mikaela Banes was _his_ Warrior Goddess. Period. No one is to harm her, (even though she does a good job of defending herself anyway) because in a way he had become her unofficial guardian.

"Not yet, still got a few kinks to work out of it, Dylan"

The "Dylan" stood at roughly six feet, blonde hair, green eyes, outweighed her by 170 pounds, and looked as if he had the brain of fragging Tidal Wave. Wheelie watched with a sickly frown on is face, the pheromone levels coming off this slagging idiot, was going to make him gag!

Mikaela showed him the bike that was directly underneath him,Wheelie watched them intently, tense and ready for anything.

"The brakes will be an easy fix, but the engine, I don't know what the hell you did to it, I mean it's completely totaled" Mikaela said, her back to him and pointing at the exposed engine.

The "Dylan" was not paying attention to her though; from the rafters Wheelie noticed that his attention was at her legs! Wheelie growled, the slagging little bastard, was staring at her right leg! The right leg that was rightfully his…_that's it!_

"Hey are you paying attention?" Mikaela asked, obviously she noticed the lack of response from her customer.

_Kick his slagging aft!_ Wheelie thought, even though Mikaela couldn't hear him.

Then the "Dylan" kissed her, just like that he kissed her on the slagging mouth!

Just as quickly as it happened, Mikaela slapped the "Dylan" on the cheek, "What the hell was that for?" she yelled.

_Torch his slagging optic out!_ Wheelie thought, _that'll teach him_

However, the "Dylan" didn't like the fact that Mikaela had slapped him, and in return had slapped her so hard that she fell against the bike.

"Bitch" he muttered, and before the "Dylan" could do anything more to _his_ Warrior Goddess, Wheelie fell from the rafters and landed on his head.

Wheelie was a small drone, he'd admit it to anyone in the room, but when it came to Mikaela Banes all weapons will be online and aimed.

The "Dylan" fell right on his slagging aft, staring into the blood red eyes of an insane…robot and his mini-cannon.

"What the fuck are you!" he screamed, while Wheelie only aimed at his face.

"I'm your worst slagging nightmare"

---

"So…Warrior Goddess, do I get a reward?"

If it was any other day or moment, she would have taken a rock and thrown it at his head. Seeing that he had officially scared Dylan shitless and had _protected_ her she let him have his reward.

"One minute and that's all you get, you little pervert" she said it affectionately, which made his stay here all the worth while.

Being Mikaela's unofficial guardian definitely had its perks.

---

AN 2: So here it is folks, The Adventures of Mikaela and Wheelie and this time Wheelie finally gets the reward he always wanted. I would like to thank my new BFF Mrs. Optimus Prime for betaing..because A) she sweet and B) she's amazing.


	2. Nightmares

AN: Oh wow! You guys are amazing, thanks so much for the support you haven given this little series. You guys are making my summer all the more enjoyable, so here's the second chappy with a third one on the way!!

Disclaimer: I do not own them…as much as I want to.

**The Adventures of Mikaela and Wheelie**

**A Mikaela/Wheelie Series**

Chapter Two: Nightmares

At first, bringing Wheelie home had been an act of pity, when _at first_ she thought that little guy would leave. So when she found him the next morning, sleeping with her dog…she guessed that he was going to be staying for a while. Mikaela thought about it as she cleaned her face in front of the mirror, despite the fact that he was annoying as hell and could grate her nerves, Wheelie was pretty loyal at least _to her._

She began brushing her teeth, as she thought about it even more.

When she had told the rest of the Autobots of Wheelie's whereabouts, they instantly voiced their opinions on the subject. It was Ironhide who really "voiced" his opinions (with cannons, missiles…the works) but the point was: Wheelie _had_ defected sides and had also protected her so he was "unofficially" her guardian and an Autobot. She smiled, he hated it when she called him an Autobot, which made their conversations even more interesting.

Though, with the new reveal of having Wheelie in her house, daily visits of NEST operatives became more and more frequent and that bastard Galloway "expected daily updates on whatever the hell 'it' does".

_If only they knew…_

She could handle Wheelie, it wasn't a nice sunny day walk in the park, but he was pretty okay to handle. She could handle the insults, she could handle his perverted sense of humor and she could also handle his "activities" (rewards as he calls them) on her right leg.

The only thing she couldn't handle or understand was his constant _staring…_

She spit into sink, washing her hands before turning out the light and slipping on her white PJs. Wheelie would often begin staring at her for long periods of time, which she found A) creepy) and B) annoying. Creepy in the sense that he would not take his eyes off of her ass and leg and annoying in the sense that it bugged her to no end as to why he would stare at her.

Be as it may, having Wheelie around had made life all the more interesting and the garage a lot more_ cleaner_. If he wasn't an alien, he would probably make the best house maid ever. The whole staring thing, she would just have to ask about it sometime later.

In the meantime as she snuggled under the covers of her thick, comforter she might as well not think about it and let Wheelie be_ Wheelie_ and not give a rat's ass at what Galloway or the rest of the Autobots might have to say about him.

Even Sam, who didn't like Wheelie to begin with, was asking (arguing, really) to leave them alone.

Long after Mikaela had fallen sleep, she was well aware that Wheelie had taken the dirty habit of sleeping in her room. No matter how many fucking times she had told him, she would torch his aft with a flame thrower for sleeping in her room (recharging according to him). He just would not let her sleep alone.

_Perverted little idiot…_she had thought when she awoke to the sound of—she raised an eyebrow—_shivering._

Sitting up in her bed, Mikaela looked over to find, Wheelie in his alt form…looking (she couldn't believe it) scared. She bit her lip, she had no idea what to do, as whiney as he could be, emotions was something he wasn't willing (or easy) to display…at least not like this.

She got up; her pristine blue eyes showing their sympathy, as she gently picked the shivering toy car up. From what Ratchet had told her, that Cybertronians do dream even if it's just memories or even bad ones.

Maybe that was it? She never really knew (or asked) about his time with the Decepticons or how they had treated him.

Strange as it may be (or sound) she cradled Wheelie to her chest, and hummed a tuneless song. He instantly stopped shivering; Mikaela felt the little car relax into her as she he felt his head "snuggle" in between he breasts. She didn't mind, at least not this time. Maybe that's all he wanted…comfort from his _nightmares_.

With a small smile, she set Wheelie down when she was sure he was in _recharge_ as he had corrected her so many times before. She crawled into bed knowing it was way too early to be even five, so she had a few more hours of sleep before taking her shift.

Before falling asleep, she heard it—it was hesitant, irritant and just blew a whisper—"…Thank You"

It was terse, and had several different meanings, but it was enough to bring a smile on Mikaela's face.

---

AN: Awwww…even Wheelie needs cuddling time. These one-shots are going to range from stand alone to interconnected one-shots, just to give some variety and add more the "Adventure" of the series. Thanks again, for all of you guys that reviews—a big hug to Mrs. Optimus Prime and WindGoddess Rune, you guys are amazing!!!

Oh and please review...:)!!


	3. Sick Part One

Disclaimer: I do not own them

**The Adventures of Mikaela and Wheelie**

**A Mikaela/Wheelie Series**

Chapter Three: Sick Part One

Since living with Mikaela, Wheelie easily recognized that organics followed a strict routine. Mikaela was no exception, it was because of this routine that Wheelie found "Autobot life" very, very, very boring. Up by six, groomed and clean by seven, father leaves at noon, eats at one, talks to Sam forever, works till eight, father comes home at nine, late dinner and then finally…Mikaela showers and recharges.

He absolutely loathed it, and that is why during the few hours her father is out, he makes sure that he has as much "fun" as possible.

The point being, once 6:30 came around and he didn't hear the shower running, Wheelie knew something was wrong.

---

He hated the stairs, he absolutely _hated_ the stairs.

Wheelie complained and grumbled as he climbed the infernal stairs and into her bedroom. Usually, Wheelie had taken a liking, to recharge in her bedroom. Last night, however, he had gone a little too far in his staring and was (in the kindest way she could think of) kicked out of her room with a mop.

He found her still in bed, and loudly groaned, hitting himself in the head. Waking his "Warrior Goddess" from her recharge cycle, was like waking up Megatron after Optimus had beaten the slag out of him.

Someone was bound to get their processors fragged.

Praying to Primus, Wheelie jumped onto her bed and began poking and prodding her sides. Okay, so he was doing a little more than just poking but—Wheelie grinned—who said he couldn't treat himself while she was recharging?

Then, the full brunt force of a human arm shoved him away, causing him to make a small 'eep' before he grabbed a pillow and hid underneath it, waiting for his "Warrior Goddess" to awaken.

Instead, Wheelie heard something that almost sounded like Starscream, when he was bitching to Megatron.

"Oh…god…my head" He heard her groan from underneath the blankets. Then there was another, "Starscream bitching sound" and another and another and 'till finally, she started breathing like she had something in her chest.

_What in the name of slagging Primus was that?_

Wheelie crawled from underneath the pillow and cautiously went over to her, trying to make sense as to what the slag had happened. Her face had seen better days, he mused, it was all red, and her eyelids seemed to be swollen…

"Wheelie?"

He could not help himself, he tried to hold it in, but just couldn't…he began laughing! He watched as Mikaela's face distort in annoyance, making him laugh even more, he was laughing so hard that coolant was leaking from his optics!

"Why the fuck…are you laughing?" Mikaela asked, too exhausted to even hit him.

"You sound just like Starscream!" Wheelie said in between his chuckles and chortles.

As if on cue, his Warrior Goddess made another weird sound (through her nose this time) and he began screaming. There was green organic slime covering his optics! He fell backwards on the bed, causing him to land on the floor.

"What the slag is this! Get it off me!" Wheelie yelled, wiping the _disgusting_ slime off with his clawed hands.

"It's called…boogers…I-" There was that other weird sound, "I…think I got the flu" she said, her voice so raspy that he grimaced. It sounded it like it hurt.

Immediately, Wheelie looked up the words "boogers" and "flu" and finally began to understand that the sounds she was making were called "coughing" and "sneezing" (he hated the last one) so in other words, his "Warrior Goddess" was malfunctioning from a virus.

_I'm touching her organic fluids? It's slagging disgusting!_

He watched Mikaela, collapse onto her bed from sheer exhaustion and began cursing at her own…Primus if he had to take a guess. When she was done, she turned her head over to him and started calling out her demands.

"Wheelie go fetch some medicine for me" she said hoarsely.

_What am I? A slagging dog?_

Even though he gave her a glare, Wheelie complied to her request (even though, he was glad he was able to help her) he traveled _down_ the stairs for her, he rolled his way to the kitchen for her, and when he looked up at the kitchen cabinet his only thought was, _How in slagging Primus's name am I going to get…_

That's what did him in. Wheelie stared at the tall wooden cabinet in thought, he could just easily look up the exact medicine she should take…but there was so many treatments for them. Then there was the food (he hated messing with organic supplement) and then by Primus, taking care of an organic was so much work!

_What the frag is Tylenol?_

He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, Wheelie needed help to _help _his Warrior Goddess get better. Her father was out of the question (today of all days he left early) Ratchet, would most likely "accidently" step on him, and calling human doctors isn't going to help either, it'll ruin his cover.

Wheelie closed his optics, he would have to call, the _boy._ (His worst slagging enemy and should burn in Pit for all he cares)

While, Wheelie didn't hate Sam (the boy did save the entire universe after all) Wheelie just couldn't stand, the control he had over _his_ Warrior Goddess. Just saying his slagging name makes Mikaela all "giddy" as she calls it.

"…Wheelie…god damn it…."

His advance audio receptors, picked up on it and so came to a decision. _She owes me, big time…_Wheelie's thoughts drifted to more to his "rewards" as he called…_Sam. _

---

"What in the world do you want?"

His gruff voice only irritated him more, "After seven calls you finally decide to answer…some "boyfriend" you are" Wheelie grated, as he heard a groan coming from the other line.

"Jesus Christ, Wheelie-"

He cut Sam's threat, "I need your slagging help, my War-_Mikaela_ is malfunctioning from some sort of fragging virus…"sneezing" green slag all over"

With that, Sam only laughed.

_Oh how he despised that boy…_

_---_

AN: Thank you guys so much for your wonderful reviews…sorry for the delay!


	4. Sick Part Two

Disclaimer: I do not own them…too bad

**The Adventures of Mikaela and Wheelie**

**A Mikaela/Wheelie Series**

Chapter Four: Sick Part Two

"I'll help you…but on one condition"

If Wheelie were at least twenty feet taller, and had a cannon the size of a slagging mini-van he would have taken that said cannon and shoved up Sam's aft and fire. At this point in time, however, that wasn't going to happen any time soon and he was feeling downright desperate. While he hated to admit it, _he needed the boy_. What the slag is it with humans and having a slagging "catch" for everything? Wheelie asked himself, as he heard shuffling from the other end of the line.

"Name it" Then he quickly added as an afterthought, "Fleshbag"

"You can't hump Mikaela's leg for a whole week"

At that, Sam's nine words made his whole world come to a full and complete stop in a matter of 0.47 seconds.

_Of all the slagging things he could make me do had to choose my slagging reward!_

He began to chuckle nervously, oh he can just see the boy's smug face, Wheelie wasn't going to just give his "Warrior Goddess" up, fat chance in Pit. That precious leg of hers was rightfully his!

"You can't be serious…no slagging way, Pit-spawn"

"Fine then, when Mikaela coughs up her lungs because her supposed guardian is not willing to do the sacrifice of his leg fetish don't come crying to me!" He heard Sam say, in a serious tone of voice. "So what's it going to be Wheelie? No sacrifice, no victory" Sam finished dramatically.

Wheelie was about to chew him out, before he heard it…more of the Starscream "coughing". It began to sound worse than before, because of his more advanced hearing, he could hear her body struggling to…_breathe._

"Done"

It was out of fear for Mikaela's life, he had done the unthinkable, he gave in to girl's scrawny, wimpy, _boyfriend_.

"Excellent, Dr. Witwicky's I Don't Know What I'm Fucking Doing Hotline is now in business!" Sam exclaimed, only making the bot all the more irritated.

"That's fine and dandy, now tell me what the slag is a Tylenol!"

"I can't tell you what to give her yet, I need to know her symptoms…so what are they?" He heard Sam ask, as he looked pathetically at the tall kitchen cabinet in front of him.

"She's coughing...sounds like she can't slagging breathe, oh and sneezing…it's disgusting all you organics are disgusting" Wheelie muttered, (remembering the green slag incident) as he heard Sam snort.

"Please, Wheelie try having a diesel tasting tongue shoved right down your throat and see how you like it…does she have a fever?" Sam quickly changed topics, obviously the event had traumatized him.

"Fever? What the slag is that?"

"Just do a fucking scan on her, it's her body temperature! Jesus Christ, you're supposed to be a super advanced robot, act like one!" Sam exclaimed, as Wheelie inwardly threatened Primus to strike him down with a thunderbolt.

In seconds Wheelie did a scan of Mikaela from the kitchen, and found that her body temperature was exactly 101.1 degrees and rising…he immediately started to panic, _that's not fragging normal!_

"Her body temperature or fever is 101.1 degrees…what the slag is happening to her?" Wheelie nearly shouted, his voice sounding like a panicked Frenzy. More of her coughing didn't do him any good either.

"She just has a cold…you know like the flu, anyway it sounds pretty bad, give her an antibiotic, two pills of Tylenol to sweat out the fever, a nasal spray for the sneezing…oh and some Vicks!" Sam's long list of treatments made his processor spin and his search for the internet go haywire! Before he could move, before he could do a single thing, he answered Sam with a pathetic and defeated…

"…Uh…"

---

Apparently an antibiotic was a "serum" to combat the virus that was obviously plaguing his "Warrior Goddess" and sure enough, the "serum" had to be in the medicine cabinet…in the bathroom, up the _stairs_.

At this moment in time, Wheelie definitely cursed Primus for him wheels instead of regular feet…_Damn it_

After cursing for what seemed to be every Cybertronian, English and the occasional Spanish curse word that resided in all dictionaries. If anything only one thought was going through Wheelie's processor was _after_ his so called "sacrifice" was done and over with.

_His_ "Warrior Goddess" has owed him big time for the complete and utter torture he will have to deal with for the next four slagging days!

"Do you have the spoon?"

Wheelie stopped in his tracks, "For the last slagging time, I have the fragging spoon!" _I should just shove it up your aft…_

Finally after what seemed like hours (really five minutes) managed to find the antibiotic that Sam had described, and also wheel his way to Mikaela's room without any incident, which he took notice of. Which meant, by all means, his luck was about to run out.

Climbing on to her bed, with spoon and grape flavored "serum" in hand, Wheelie would make his "Warrior Goddess" better in no time.

Mikaela looked like Starscream, after Megatron had decided to throw him off the Nemesis and onto an oncoming asteroid, _Yep all red and everything...I had almost gotten my aft torched that day._

She was still in her pajamas, surrounded by wet and slag-covered-disgusting tissues that seemed to never end.

"Warrior Goddess…" Wheelie said, ignoring the snort and laughter coming from a _certain_ pest.

He watched paitiently as she groaned and slowly opened her eyes, "…Thank the fucking lord…" if it wasn't for his advance hearing, Wheelie wouldn't have heard her.

"Now pour some of the antibiotic onto the spoon and feed it to her…you know like a baby" Sam instructed.

Wheelie awkwardly opened the bottle of the grape flavored antibiotic, and tried (emphasis on the word tried) to pour the "serum" onto the spoon without spilling it. As if anything could get any worse, he spilled half the bottle onto Mikaela's bed.

"…You-" She paused to cough, "Idiot!" Mikaela yelled (or tried to) nasally, as she took her dirty tissues to try and wipe the sticky, purple gunk off her white sheets.

_Just slagging great…she's pissed and ill_

Actually, Wheelie swore it must have been Primus himself, he managed to pour some of the "serum" onto the spoon. Giddy with his accomplishment, Wheelie raised to spoon to her mouth, "I believe your human medics tell you to say: Ahhhhhh when they do this" he said, earning an eyeroll and mouthing the word "freak"

She glared at him, and reluctantly opened her mouth and swallowed the vile liquid.

"I'm done! Thank slagging Primus!" Wheelie yelled triumphantly.

Mikaela looked at him once before saying, "I'm hungry"

With that, his "Warrior Goddess" did something no one could ever achieve; she made his whole world stop…_twice._

He could hear Sam's laughter through his processor as he made his pathetic descend down the stairs.

"You're going to _have _to cook her something" Sam said, knowingly.

_Again he was reminded on how he simply utterly detested the boy…_

_---_

AN: So I decided to make Sick a three parter :) I know I'm evil but the 5th chapter will be up in no time at all. Nothing like this one, I'm really sorry for the delay, I was in New Jersey/Philadelphia and also had my computer fixed so nothing like what happened…will happen again. So now everything is fixed, its summer so updates will be a whole lot faster.

Thanks so much for your reviews and favorites…they mean so much to me!


	5. Sick Part Three and the Aftermath

Disclaimer: Not owned by me…sadly

**The Adventures of Mikaela and Wheelie**

**A Mikaela/Wheelie Series**

Chapter Five: Sick Part Three and the Aftermath 

"Do I really have to slagging touch it?"

He could hear Sam's groan of exasperation, "For the last fucking time, all you have to do is pour the soup into the pot, turn the stove on, wait till it boils, pour it into a bowl and feed it to her!" Sam explained, while Wheelie's processor was spinning with the boy's new list of treatments. He scoffed, _and everyone wanted a human as a slagging pet? Frag that idea to the Pit!_

"There should be a how to care for humans training manual, I'm not designed for this slag!" Wheelie complained.

"How can you not see the directions in the back of the can!" Sam reiterated.

Wheelie felt like the can of human supplement or otherwise known as "Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup" was mocking him. _How is this supposed to help my Warrior Goddess? It's filled with so much slagging sodium she might just die from it!_

"How the slag is this "soup" going to help my-_Mikaela_? It looks like she's going to choke on it!" Wheelie pressed on, feeling the can's red and white colors were going to give him a processor ache.

"Hey! You cannot diss the holy magical powers of Chicken Noodle Soup, now get your ass on it…her stomach must be eating itself as we speak"

While he normally wouldn't have believed it, but according to Sam's tone of voice, his hydraulics hissed in defeat…he had to resort to "cooking" for her. He didn't understand how exactly, humans could "ingest" such a substance, or possess the "healing powers" Sam had admitted of it having.

_Of all the things I have to slagging do!_

Following Sam's orders, Wheelie or "Chef Wheelie" as Sam so humorously called him; he placed a pot that miraculously, had been sitting there since last night, on the burner. For what seemed like the umpteenth time that morning (its afternoon at the moment) Wheelie cursed again at the many problems humans have to go through

_It's a slagging miracle they haven't gone extinct yet…_

Wheelie mentally prepared himself, with a hydraulic hiss he opened the can of Campbell's and poured the sticky, gooey, smelly, yellow-purge inducing soup into the pot. He turned the can over and looked at the directions…that seemed to be perfectly hidden in the red and white mess.

"Mix soup plus one can water" _What the slag…_

As if reading his thoughts, "Put a can of water into the soup"

"The same can?"

"Yes! Wheelie the same, fucking can!"

If Wheelie could glare at him, he would.

---

Wheelie wasn't the smartest of bots, that much was certain.

So when he couldn't reach the knobs of the stove, he did what instinct (or what his list of options did) told him to do, he boiled the soup with his heat laser fitted in the middle of his head. What he didn't expect however was the simple fact that the said laser burnt through the pot.

He didn't notice it until he actually poured the soup into a bowl, and found a huge gaping hole through the pot and part of the stove.

Wheelie contemplated giving up, he was so willing to shove the said pot up Sam's aft, and run away with his Warrior Goddess to the Cybertronian mountains. But no he couldn't, he was stuck listening to Sam's laughter and inane human teasing.

"How can you fuck up so bad in making something as simple as soup?" He heard Sam say, as he hoisted the bowl over his head and began his long treacherous climb up the infernal _stairs._

Having managed to make it up the stairs…only spilling the soup two times, Wheelie was immensely proud of himself. If he kept this up, his rewards would be outstanding! Then his processor backtracked to the deal he made with the boy.

_Oh slag…_

"Wheelie?"

It took all of Wheelie's control not to start laughing his head off (and not to mention her left hook), at her absolutely perfect imitation of Starscream's "bitching" voice.

"Are…are you carrying a bowl of…soup?"

"Of course I'm carrying a bowl of soup!" The ex-'con said, wheeling his way over to her, "You're slagging ill, your dog won't stop growling at me and to top it all of on the slag-"sundae" your fragging boyfriend won't stop laughing at me!" he finshed his rant with a puff (hearing Sam laughing on his end), as Mikaela weakly grabbed the bowl and using the spoon from before began to take small sips of it before looking at him weirdly.

"What the slag is it now?"

"Tastes a little different…like burnt tin" she said her voice thoughtful…as she continued to eat the "burnt" tasting soup.

_Wait till she finds out that burned a freaking hole in her slagging…"stove"_

After a few minutes of watching her eat in silence…the drugs had obviously affected her as Mikaela lulled to sleep again…with half eaten "burnt tin chicken noodle soup" and all.

"She ate…her soup" Wheelie said, resisting all control to not hump her leg.

_Don't look at her leg, don't look at her leg, don't look at her leg…oh primus it's gorgeous._

"Remember our deal, Wheelie…don't hump her leg for a whole week" Sam said, laughing as Wheelie groaned loudly... "You had to make it a whole slagging week?" Wheelie muttered, as Sam laughed even harder, "A deal's a deal, "Chef Wheelie"

With that Sam hung up, to leave Wheelie alone to peace and quiet.

"_What the fuck happened to the stove!"_

When he had it.

---

Four Days Later

"Glad to see your face booger free Mikaela"

Wheelie watched the exchanged through the rafters of the garage.

_Don't look at her leg, don't look at her leg, don't look at her leg…_

"Shut up Sam, no boyfriend should see his girlfriend…crusted with boogers" Mikaela said, as she looked under her desk to see if he was under his usual spot under her desk.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, his face on her computer screen had knowing smile on her face.

"Its Wheelie, he's been acting a little off…like he doesn't want to be anywhere near me" She answered, _if only she slagging knew_ Wheelie thought pathetically.

"Maybe he needs to be neutered" Sam said with a knowing grin, while Wheelie cursed him with a thunderbolt specially paid for by Primus himself.

"Sam!"

Seeing Sam's grin and hearing his laughter bounce off the walls of the garage...Wheelie managed only one thought.

_He truly undeniably without a slagging shadow of a doubt despised the boy._

---

AN: Gosh guys you guys are amazing…sorry for the late update but my aunt died last week…and it really put me down in the dumps so I couldn't really get into this. But I'm better now and reading your reviews helped me so much…so kudos to you guys!! And I will upload faster next time I promise!


	6. Drone

**The Adventures of Mikaela and Wheelie**

**A Mikaela/Wheelie Series**

Chapter Six: Drone

Her relationship with Wheelie could only be described as the typical love-hate relationship. Mikaela couldn't believe she actually thought that, but it was true, almost a year of having him around has wormed her way into her heart. She plopped herself on her dirty old couch, clad in her dad's basketball shorts and a tank top, Mikaela patiently waited for Wheelie to bring the popcorn.

Wheelie was perverted, cynical, and did by no accounts played by the rules that the Autobots laid out for him. At one point he transformed in the mall and continuously screamed her name before Mikaela grabbed him, ran out and had "continuously" hit him over the head with a wrench. Beyond that however, Mikaela knew nothing about him, and that had been a thought that plagued her thoughts from day one.

"So what slag are we watching today?"

Broken out of her reverie, Wheelie had managed to hoist himself (with a bowl of popcorn) onto the couch with relative ease and was looking at her with an expectant gaze.

She bit her lip as she flipped on the T.V. glancing at Wheelie for a second…_Who is he exactly?_

_--_

WALL-E

Was probably the cutest little robot ever, and was made by Disney: Mikaela giggled like she was six again and was enjoying every second of the movie. "Gosh Wheelie?" she said mimicking WALL-E's voice, "Why can't you act like WALL-E?"

He gave her a death glare and shook his fist at her, "Are you comparing me to a slagging fictional robot? You humans got the universe all wrong, if you think we robots look like that!"

"Oh please Wheelie, you're just jealous that WALL-E looks ten-times cuter than you are, it's perfectly understandable" she rolled her eyes, for a dramatic effect. He chucked popcorn at her, which made her giggle even more.

"CUTE? That-that…poor excuse for a robotic organism is cuter than me!? You insult me!" Wheelie fumed, earning a good sized amount of popcorn thrown at his head. Still, he turned back and seemed to be engrossed in the movie, just as much as Mikaela.

"You have to admit…the similarities between you and WALL-E are definitely there" Mikaela added with good measure earning another "Wheelie Death Glare"

Later on, Mikaela noticed that Wheelie was shifting uncomfortably, on the couch…watching with what seemed to be a distant gaze. She continued to watch the movie half-heartedly; surely her last comment didn't _offend him…did it?_

When the movie ended with a happily ever after, according to Disney standards, and Mikaela felt she should have enjoyed it a bit more, if she wasn't worrying for Wheelie like a worry wart. Is that what her relationship with Wheelie come to, worrying so much about him she couldn't watch a movie?

She turned the volume down, and let the credits roll…giving an eerie feeling to her Saturday night.

"Is that what you humans think of us?" Wheelie had broken the silence, using a voice she only heard once. She bit her lip, a nasty habit she had, Mikaela didn't know what to say…she let him talk, hearing him out.

"Do you think it's that slagging simple…to develop a mind of your own?"

He climbed down from the couch and jumped onto the coffee table, facing her at her level. "Remember when I told you I was drone…Warrior Goddess?" he said, this part of his character taking her so off guard that she could only just nod.

"Drones, by law…Autobot and Decepticons alike are not supposed to develop a personality, a spark" Wheelie stated coldly, her eyes widening at the thought. "Believe me, it's not exactly living…I was spawned to do one thing…to do the Decepticon's bidding and that's it"

Her eyebrows furrowed, "Then how-how did you become, well you?" she asked.

Wheelie grinned bitterly, "Not easy…I remember my first thought, I was supposed to gain intel from the Autobots…nothing special and then there it was I thought Arcee had a very well built aft"

Mikaela couldn't help herself, she burst out laughing… "So you were practically "born" a pervert then?" she asked him, all traces of her discomfort gone.

"An aft's an aft, Warrior Goddess…I just happened to be fond of them, but after that…everything changed" He said, changing the topic to a more darker tone. "I broke a law, no matter how accidental it may be, I remember much before that, my processor holds no memory if that life as a drone-if you can call it that"

There was a grim pause; Mikaela felt something tug at her heart.

"Do you know what they do to the drones that do gain a spark?" Wheelie asked, his red optics boring into hers.

"It was my first memory of Megatron…he's not so fun to look at when he's ready to send you to the Matrix let me tell you" He tried to keep his composure, but it brought more unwanted memories to his processor, "They rip out your spark, and place another in its place, all traces of whatever you were gone just like that"

She brought a hand up to her mouth, this was the first time Wheelie had ever relented anything of his past life with the Decepticons, "What happened then Wheelie" she said softly.

"The Autobots attacked, and I was spared, but that didn't mean I was treated any better when I was a sparkles drone…but it doesn't bother me much, it doe-"

Mikaela didn't know exactly, what drove her to hug him…but she understood and that's all that mattered. She hugged him tightly, as he struggled to get a hold of himself, to say something to maker her mad and end all this emotion.

A personality such a taboo in his culture…the ideas behind it were so cold.

It was during this time, that Mikaela now understood why he was so upset with the movie, so uncomfortable with it. Their war, was nothing like how humans had pictured it, it was a harsh reality where death came just as unexpected as the next life.

She felt so sorry for him…until he touched her breasts a little too much_._

_What a Bastard!_

Mikaela then with a sweet smile, set him down and promptly dropped the empty popcorn bowl on his head, knocking him out cold.

---

She could easily describe her relationship with Wheelie as the typical love-hate realationship. Mikaela sipped at her lemonade, the tangy sweetness tasting so good, "Wheelie, keep fanning, you have about two more days before your reward time" she said, sweetly her sunglasses reflecting off the sun almost blinding him. He continued to fan her with a palm leaf, that he had to rip from the many palm trees surrounding her garage.

He would love her for her kindness, but he would hate her for the grueling torture for his just rewards.

---

Sorry for the long wait…but here it is folks, chapter six and yes Wheelie=EMO just kidding. :D hope you guys like!


	7. Interrogations and Why They Suck

**The Adventures of Mikaela and Wheelie**

**A Mikaela/Wheelie Series**

Chapter Seven: Interrogations and Why They Suck 

She was at the beach right now, sunbathing in her new blue plaid bikini while Sam nervously put on as much sun block as possible. The smell of the ocean, the feel of sand exfoliating her feet, the sun tanning her skin…

"Warrior Goddess"

Her mouth twitches into a frown, even on her much needed vacation the drone wouldn't leave her _and _her leg alone.

"Warrior Goddess!"

With a jolt, Mikaela is awoken by none other than her free loader of a Decepticon and current house maid. Flustered by her lack of sleep and disoriented as to where she currently is, Mikaela is disgusted to find that Wheelie has been having his way with her leg for the past three hours of their flight.

_Really?_

"Primus help us, but you're finally awake!" Wheelie says dramatically, tightening his grip on her leg like it was a treasure.

Wrinkling her nose, Mikaela notices that they're very close to the Diego Garcia base: home of the Autobots and all things alien.

She feels like shit and looks like shit too. Why? Well, Galloway decided that it's been three months too short of her last "debriefing" and decided the best way to do it was wake her up at the ass crack of dawn. Clad in a pink tank top, gray sweatpants and ugly as fuck Crocs, she looks like she just rolled out of bed. Literally.

"Think you can get off my leg?" She asks, pulling her hair up in a bun, "I'd like to get the blood flowing before I get off this tin can."

"Someone woke up a little grouchy" Wheelie responds, "Hope it's not the third week in the month phase you organics get!" he adds and is instantly wacked upside the head with on of her Crocs. With a glare Wheelie, obediently climbs off her leg to avoid the more than obvious annoyed look on her face.

"It's going to be a long slagging day" she heard him mutter, and settle himself on the seat next to hers.

As the plane touched down onto the base, Mikaela (for once) had to agree with the ex-'Con.

000

Mikaela is led into one of those "seen too many times on_ Law and Order_" interrogation rooms. It's way too cold, the stainless steel table is uneven, and the chair she is currently sitting on is the most uncomfortable thing ever built.

At times like these she misses Wheelie because at least he's some form entertainment.

Sam is too preoccupied with class to text her.

She really needs to get some friends, who aren't autonomous robotic organisms from another planet. Crossing her arms to warm herself up, Mikaela rests her forehead on the cool surface of the chrome table. Being in the small room, brought back a lot of unwanted memories of her time in juvie and police stations. _What the hell is taking so long?_ She thinks

Hearing the sound of the door opening, Mikaela raises her head to say "Hi" to Lennox and it hits her like the first time she fell of her motorcycle.

There stood Galloway and a huge stack of folders.

Even without meaning to, the guy had a knack for compensating for something.

What the _fuck_?

Her mouth is set into a fine line, and she narrows her eyes at him as he sits down with a less than pleasant frown on his face. Usually Lennox is the one who handles her "debriefing" and he questions her over the phone, or _he_ makes the trip over to her house with Ironhide. What the hell does Galloway want with her?

She's about to pleasantly voice out her opinion, when Galloway finally has the balls (like he has any) to speak to her.

"You know why you are here Ms. Banes?" Galloway asks, shuffling his papers about. Interrogation strategy number one: _Shuffling papers to make you anxious as to what's in the folders. _Mikaela leans back in her chair with a humorless chuckle, she wonders if Wheelie has to deal with this kind of shit today.

"Other than the fact that you want to see my ass at five in the morning?" Mikaela says, looking at her nails when Galloway stutters. "Then no. But I figured it has to do with Wheelie, what do you think he's doing now?"

With an annoyed sigh, Galloway continues to shuffle his papers around, and finds a picture to hand to Mikaela. "This is why you are here at five in the morning," Galloway says hotly, watching as Mikaela raises a fine eyebrow and squints at the picture to annoy the federal-whatever-the-hell-he-is.

"It looks like a blurred penis, but art was never really my thing." She deadpans, and Mikaela finds the look on Galloway's face so precious that she swears Ironhide would be proud.

"It is a picture of your little pest! In public! Where regular citizens can see!" Galloway yells, showing her four more pictures of Wheelie following her around in the mall.

Okay so he did follow her. What was she supposed to do? Besides, all the little kids were "ooooing" and "awwwwing" at the fact the someone was pulling her leg.

If only those little kids knew.

"Come on! He's a toy car this big!" she gestures with her hands, "What the hell can he possibly do that he hasn't done!" Mikaela argues, fed up with Galloway and his unfounded assholeness. Really, she wishes Ironhide or even Wheelie to come in through the door and blast his ass to kingdom come.

"That thing used to be the enemy and as a government official I have the right to exercise caution with the fact that it's living in your house!" Galloway yells, infuriated with the fact that the girl was not showing him any respect.

"_Wheelie _is a drone, a stupid one too!" Mikaela seethes, "Do you honestly believe he would be smart enough to make some mastermind of a plot while he's cleaning my closet?"

With a sigh and a painful pinch to his nose, Galloway clicks his pen twice.

"How long have you been in a relationship with this _thing_"

000

"What the slag happened to him?" Wheelie asked Ironhide, when he finished talking with Optimus about his "dwellings and connection with other drones." Really, half the slag that Optimus said went through one audio receptor and out of his aft, but Wheelie is smart enough to show some form of respect.

After all, the "Big Man" didn't squish him, unlike the giant right next to him.

Perched on the hangar of the Diego Garcia base, Wheelie and Ironhide were discussing Arcee's weapon chasis upgrade, when a rush of humans pulled a screaming Galloway from the interrogation section of the base. Ironhide and Wheelie chuckled quietly at the sight of a grown man crying.

Little fraggard finally getting what he deserves.

"According to Lennox, Mikaela knocked him out with a cell phone and...crocs?" Ironhide answers (unsure exactly as to what "crocs" are), watching Galloway complain to the med-bay technician about "unrightful injustices."

Wheelie begins to laugh manically, his Warrior Goddess can truly make a weapon out of anything! Even chunks of undegradeable plastic!

000

After three hours of more lecture, Mikaela is finally on a return flight home, probably never to return again.

Unless, she had to help Sam save the world again.

Folding herself up in her seat, Mikaela avoids all eye-contact with Wheelie, and wonders if his interrogation _sucked _as much as hers had.

"So, Warrior Goddess?" Wheelie begins slyly, his opitcs brightening with mischief. "What did that fraggard say to you?"

"Don't want to talk, think, or even _imagine_ what that asshole said to me" She says coldly, and rightly tucks her legs underneath her.

_Slag! Three hours of fragging boredom!_


	8. Shark Week

**The Adventures of Mikaela and Wheelie**

**A Mikaela/Wheelie Series**

Chapter Eight: Shark Week

He awoke one morning to the worst week of his programming.

_What the slag?_

His left optic was temporarily malfuctioning due to the fact that Mikaela's stupid fragging organic pet "dog" slobbered all over him during stasis. While annoying, he found his situation to be the perfect opportunity to be able to look down his Warrior Goddess's shirt.

Because it's been a while and Primus be damned, her "boobs" were hot.

However, it did suck major nuts and bolts to only have one optic working.

With a glare, Wheelie managed to push the dog off of him and found that it was 12:30 noon on Mikaela's day off. _Why does she need the fragging dog anway? _Wheelie thought as he began his search for his Warrior Goddess; _All he does is eat, sleep, and blow squishy methane gas! _After being facially subjected to the turmoil that was Fang's "fart" as his Warrior Goddess would call it, he lost all respect for anything below human intelligence.

Shaking the horrid memory from his memory processor, Wheelie's shocks hiss in defeat as he made his mandatory trip up the stairs.

As he neared the second to last step of the stairs, Wheelie was shocked to see a more than miserable Mikaela moaning and groaning on top of her bed.

_Slag Nuggets! Not again! _Wheelie thought, as Mikaela's groans grew louder until she suddenly yelled, "Curse you, Eve!" and he heard the thud of her collapsing on the bed. _Who the slag is Eve? And what the frag did she do to my Warrior Goddess?_ Wheelie exclaimed internally as he entered Mikaela's room with an air of caution.

Besides he A) really wanted to see her boobs and B) wanted to know what in Primus was going on. Call him a perv for it, but he could give two frags.

"Warrior Goddess?" Wheelie asked with a fake chipper in his voice, "What the slag is going on?"

_Pleasedon'tbesickI'mbeggingyouPrimuspleasedon'tbesick..._

She was wearing her famous "it's the weekend and I don't give a shit" ensemble of a white tank-top and black leggings that highlighted her toned calf to the point where Wheelie just stared for three seconds. His Warrior Goddess' snapped her head into his direction and he felt that familiar sense of dread pool into the deep chasm of his spark. _Why the slag can I have a normal day?_ Wheelie thought as Mikaela lays back down on her bed with a miserable 'thump.'

"It's day one of fucking shark week, Wheelie" Mikaela moans, and he's dumbfounded for a second.

_Shark Week? _

"That's what all the drama's about?" Wheelie said exasperated, managing to climb himself on her bed. "I can just hack my way to get the episodes you want!"

Sitting up, Mikaela grabs one of her throw pillows and hits him over the head with it.

He didn't even see it coming, being blind and all.

"What the frag was that for!" Wheelie yelled, holding his head with his claw like hands.

"That's not the kind of shark week I was talking about, idiot!" Mikaela yelled back, as she rolled out of bed and practically stomped towards the bathroom.

_Just fragging wonderful._

000

"Thanks for calling the Love Monkey!"

Raising an optic ridge, Wheelie replied, _"_What the _slag_ is a love monkey?"

Wheelie heard a more than audible groan and the word 'fuck!' before Sam proceeded to threaten that if it wasn't a Decepticon attack then to stop bothering him. Since the "flu" incident over three months ago, the two have formed somewhat of a forced friendship or as Wheelie liked to call it "a truce made in motherfragging Pit."

"C'mon Sammy boy hear me out will you? From the way Mikaela's stomping around upstairs, it sounds like Starscream having his bitchfits!" Wheelie said, hearing an amused chuckle from Chuckle from Sam.

Wheelie was currently in the safety of the garage's rafters, when Mikaela climbs down the stairs looking like someone ran off with her father's prized Firebird.

"Bitchfit huh?" Sam said, "Well looks like Mikaela's on her shark week"

"What is it with you humans and that term! What the slag does that mean?" Wheelie hissed, toning down his voice a notch.

If his Warrior Goddess finds out about his choice of words he'll never get his optic fixed!

"Wow, the internet _really_ screwed you over."

"Oh why don't you kiss my-"

"She's on her fucking period Wheelie" Sam said, "And get ready for that shit because, this bitchfit? Lasts a whole week, and it's not pretty."

Thanks to a quick internet search, Wheelie was able to distinguish what exactly is a period, and he could almost hear his processor get fragged up.

_Disgusting. How did females ever survive in the slagging wild?_

"Any suggestions as to how in the slagging Pit I'm going to deal with this?" Wheelie exaxperated, hearing Sam laugh into audio receptors. _Can't wait till he visits the mother-_

"Chocolate, lots of chocolate." Sam said, as he cut his train of thought. "Oh, and Midol is a godsend to all males everywhere."

Sam hung up just in time to hear his Warrior Goddess close the kitchen cabinet with a _THUNK_, and scream, "Where the _FUCK_ is my _Midol_, Goddammit!"

_Oh slag, it just hit the fan. _

000_  
_

As it turns out, Wheelie never really noticed Mikaela's monthly "shark week," because she had a packet of _Midol_ handy just in case her period comes early. Well, it did, and not only was Mikaela not prepared for the full frontal assault of pain, Primus only knows that Wheelie wasn't prepared for it.

"Why Jack? Why can't you just get on the stupid _fucking_ piece of wood there was enough room for both of you!" Mikaela screams in frustration as she eats her second pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Brownie, that was (Thank Primus) still in the fridge.

Wheelie had been on pins and needles all day, one minute his Warrior Goddess is "normal," then she's a blubbering mess on the floor, and then she turns into this Megatron-like monster while beating him over the head with a candle.

Besides, she still hadn't come around to fix his optic.

Sitting on the couch, watching the slagging Titanic seemed to help, at least for the first hour and a half. Apparently the main character was a slagging human _idiot_ and is now dead, while the other main character (also, an idiot) is currently almost dying of hypothermia.

_This is slagging entertainment. What is with these people?_

His audio receptors pick up sniffling and, Wheelie is flabbergasted at the sight.

Wheelie's great Warrior Goddess was reduced to tears, as Leanardo Dicaprio's character disappeared on the screen.

_She's crying? Over a slagging movie?_

Seriously, what the _slag?_ Here he is, partially blind and doing everything she fragging says because a) she's scary hot when she's mad and b) to scared she might kick him out if she gets too pissed.

"C'mon, Warrior Goddess, my optic needs fixing!" Wheelie pleaded, "I just lost almost two hours of my lifespan that I will never get back!"

"Why can't you fix your own fucking eyeball!" Mikaela yelled suddenly, causing the small drone to retreat further into the seat good. _Not good_, Wheelie thought as he's brought into another one of Mikaela's Shark Week bitchfits.

"I look like shit, I'm flat ass broke because Dad doesn't know how to play the fucking credit card company, I'm bloated, I feel like my boobs are going to pop out of my chest, my jeans fit me too tight, I feel like shit, I'm fucking bleeding, and you want me to fix your _fucking_ eyeball?" Mikaela ended with an exasperated scream, and Wheelie felt like his world stopped again.

_Why the slag is she soooo hot, when she's pissed?_

"Yes!" Wheelie said bravely, and quite proud that he was able to at least answer her question.

Her left eye twitched, and before Wheelie knew it, he was hit over the head with a shiny metal spoon. "That was a fucking rhetorical question, dumbass!" She yelled, and with a huff got off from the couch and put _The Notebook_ on.

Seven minutes in, and Mikaela starts to cry.

Grumbling, Wheelie climbed off the couch, and towards Mikaela's private collection of tools, that she keeps on top of the table.

His mouth drops as he finally wraps his processor around this fact:

_How the Pit am I going to survive a whole week of this!_

In all honesty he never understood how Sam survived with his Warrior Goddess two whole years with his head still intact.

* * *

AN: Thanks so much for the reviews/alerts/favorites! I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while, but I am back and only two chapters away from finishing this bitch! I would like to make a special shout out to Mrs. OptimusPrime for being an awesome friend for the past three years! :D She's amazing and her stories are pretty nifty. Go check her out!

Anyway, please leave a review! It's all I ask!


	9. Food Fights and Canceled Dates

**The Adventures of Mikaela and Wheelie**

**A Mikaela/Wheelie Series**

Chapter Nine: Food Fights and Canceled Dates

"Stop looking so pathetic," Mikaela sighs, as she watches Wheelie sulk underneath her kitchen table. "It's not like it's the end of the world."

Wheelie gives her a glare before responding with, "Warrior Goddess, _you _don't have to watch yourselves share organic fluids all day, so sue me if I'm a little uncomfortable with Sammy boy coming over."

Rolling her eyes, Mikaela returns to reading her mom's recipe on the best double chocolate brownies, ever. Yes, it was true. Her boyfriend of three years was coming over for his mandatory girlfriend time, and Wheelie (for obvious reasons) was not too happy about it. "So says, the robot who finds my leg to be the greatest humping pole on the planet." Mikaela deadpans, and hears Wheelie's gears shift at the mention of her leg.

"And don't you _slagging_ forget it" Wheelie answers back, earning a chuckle from Mikaela as she begins to mix the gooey batter into the bowl.

The kitchen counter is filled with eggs, milk, and other human foods that Wheelie knows he'll have to clean up sooner or later. With a groan, Wheelie returns to his sulking because nothing is worse than having to clean _human_ intake. He's not exactly being verbal about the whole "Sam-coming-over-and-ruining-everything-thing," Wheelie kinda, sorta understands that Sam makes his Warrior Goddess happy and he begrudgingly accepts that fact.

Even though she's _hot_, when she's mad. He likes it when his Warrior Goddess is happy too.

Just because he's only part of a whole idiot, doesn't mean he doesn't notice these "human" things. Like how her eyes almost _glow, _when she's on the phone with him, or how she starts laughing to every little joke Sam says. He finds it revolting sometimes, and he has to fight the urge to _purge_ his energon breakfast all over her computer when they get all "goo-goo-ga-ga" over each other. In his sulking, Wheelie watches Mikaela mix the chocolate batter with a look of concentration on her face, and wonders if he'll get a reward tonight for being on his best behavior when Sam comes over.

What can he say? Mikaela's right leg is a godsend to all drones everywhere.

Her cell-phone rings to the song "Before It's Too Late," and Mikaela almost misses the call because she's putting the brownies in the oven.

"Sam!" Mikaela answers, "I made you your favorite brownies!" a smirk forming on her lips as she expertly closes the oven door with her foot.

Rolling his optics, Wheelie doesn't need to hear the lovey-dovey conversation that was bound to happen with the two. Climbing onto the kitchen table, he becomes a little worried when a frown sets on Mikaela's face. She's clutching the phone to her ear, as she leans against the counter closing her eyes as Sam continues talking on the phone in his usual fast pace manner.

"You can't be serious, Sam" Mikaela says, "I haven't seen you in like three months!"

There's a pause, letting Sam talk before she answers with, "I know, I know that acing that class is important, it's just...I miss you."

Wheelie watches the conversation play out, and finds that college is a bitch, for a lack of a better word, on relationships.

"This sucks major ass, Witwicky" _Oooo that's definitely not a good sign_, Wheelie thinks, and hopes that Sam is in the slagging doghouse for making his Warrior Goddess slave over human food over a broke promise.

"When will I be able to see you?" Mikaela asks, and after a pause she says, "Okay...yeah, me too" and finally hangs up the phone.

With a small groan of exasperation, she sinks down onto the floor of the kitchen, not caring that it's probably ruining her favorite khaki shorts. She wasn't lying when she said that she missed Sam, and it already hurt enough that the best she could do was take courses at Tranquility Community College. It hurts to know that he's so far away, and the rest of her alien friends have sort of forgot that she, too helped save the world.

"So, Sammy boy ditched you?"

Mikaela looks at Wheelie, too fucking depressed to glare or make some form of witty comeback to excuse Sam's absence. With a shrug she draws her knees to her chest, and buries her head into her arms. _Well at least I can get fat off of mom's double chocolate brownies, _Mikaela thinks knowing that in about fifteen minutes the brownies will be done.

Wheelie was on the verge on being in "Warrior-Goddess-Panic-Mode" because of how freaking pathetic she looked, sliding herself on kitchen floor like that. And that was one thing his Warrior Goddess wasn't, a _pathetic _fleshbag, unlike the rest of her kind.

"C'mon, Warrior Goddess, forget Sam!" Wheelie says from his perch on the kitchen table, "He's not worth moping around, like the time Megatron kicked Starscream in the aft for getting the wrong kind of energon grade"

"You really don't like Starscream, do you?" Mikaela replies back, raising her head from her arms.

"No one does! Not even my mindless brother drones!" Wheelie exclaims, almost manically. "He's a bitch! I wouldn't be surprised if he's picking up energon waste from Megatron's aft right now!"

Mikaela smiles, and Wheelie feels somewhat proud of himself that he's able to at least make her smile. It fades a bit, and Mikaela returns to her original position with her head in her arms, and Wheelie can't _slagging_ stand it.

He turns to his right, and finds the carton of eggs is wide open.

With an evil glint in his optics, he knows the only way to get his Warrior Goddess's spark back was to get her _extremely_ mad. And this time she might actually kill him, but at least she'll be back to normal.

So he picks up the egg and with gifted precision he throws the egg straight into her glossy black hair.

Upon impact, Mikaela stands abruptly with a yell, trying to get the yolk off her face. "Wheelie!" Mikaela yells, while he smiles. "What the _hell _was that for?"

Before Wheelie could answer back, Mikaela reaches behind her and throws a fistful of flower into Wheelie's face, and the Food Fight officially begins. The battlefield? Her kitchen, and her enemy? A tiny perverted ex-Decepticon who likes to hump her leg.

Immediatley, Wheelie, carrying a carton of eggs hops down from the kitchen table and overturns one of the chairs in her kitchen as his fort against Mikaela's (more than obvious) height advantage. Mikaela clears the table and makes her fort with a carton of eggs, a box of Ziploc bags, and a bag of flour as her only weapons.

Wheelie launches his attack with a manic laugh, as he throws three eggs towards Mikaela's direction and manages to hit Mikaela with a splash of yolk.

"You're so going down, you sad excuse of a robot!" Mikaela yells, and sends a Ziploc baggy grenade of flour over Wheelie's "wall" of the chair and sees a small explosion of flour pour all over his head as he looks up from his position in shock.

"You'll pay for that, Warrior Goddess!"

"You started it!"

And the fight continues with eggs exploding in various places of the kitchen, as Wheelie begins to use his size as an advantage and moves around kitchen with expert speed, sending the left over brownie batter towards Mikaela's "fortress" through the use of the mixer.

"I'm bringing the rain, Wheelie!" Mikaela yells with a laugh, remembering how that was Will's phrase.

Finding a bag of stale marshmallows in the kitchen sink, she starts a full frontal assault of marshmallow bullets by throwing them directly at Wheelie's alt mode of a toy car. Transforming, Wheelie throws a stick of butter towards Mikaela's head as a distraction before expertly throwing cup of milk towards her exposed body.

"Hey!" Mikaela screams, the milk dripping down her shirt. "You pervert!" Wheelie grins, forgetting that he's now out in the open with no weapons. _Besides she only had two carton of eggs! We used them all! _Wheelie thinks smugly.

His smug grin fades though when he sees a white egg in Mikaela's hands, and before he can run to the safety of his chair "fort," he slips on an egg yolk.

_Oh slag!_

With a shit eating grin, Mikaela takes out her secret weapon that will end this little food war. Using the last egg from her carton, she throws a direct hit towards Wheelie's face and takes out her cheese wiz can, and sprays it all over Wheelie's head making an outstanding "sundae" all over him.

"I surrender! I surrender!" Wheelie screams, as he finally realizes he's covered in human _food_!

When he sees Mikaela smiling at her apparent victory, he really couldn't care less/

Breathing heavily, both human and alien, share fit of the giggles, before the tall-tell signs of smoke reach both nose and scent receptor.

"Oh _shit! _The brownies!"

* * *

AN: This chapter was so much fun to write, and it didn't take me so long either, the words just flew off the page. Remember to review! :D Only one more chapter left!


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